The relationship between an empath and a narcissist is one that will never end well for the empath. The combination of these two personality types makes for a highly toxic relationship. Narcissists will seek out and pursue an empath because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way. Empaths want to “fix” people and see it as a personal challenge to not fail or quit. Empaths are “emotional sponges,” who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. They can walk in a room and “feel” the atmosphere, they can “feel” if someone is happy or sad. This makes them the ideal target for a narcissist.
A narcissist will initially present a false self. A person of charm and intelligence to draw in the empath as empaths want to feel secure and loved as this feeds their psychological state. At this stage, there is a mutual gain for both. As the relationship grows, an empath will want to fix people and heal everything with compassion. They believe that as the narcissist facade starts to slip, that they can heal and fix them and they will ot give up trying.
Since many empaths struggle with coming to terms with their empathy and many do ot even realise they are an empath, so they may also struggle with self confidence. It can be very difficult to feel empowered as a person if you feel like you have no control over the emotions you pick up on. This is where the narcissist will make the empath feel lost and out of control and slowly start chipping away at their confidence.
There is a huge boundary issue in the empath/narcissist relationship, which goes back to the empath feeling disempowered. A disempowered empath will struggle with establishing boundaries for themselves because they put themselves at the bottom of the list of priorities, allowing the narcissist to walk all over them or take advantage of them. And again, narcissists love being around people they can take advantage of, as it strokes their egos. It’s a vicious cycle and hard to get out of once you’re stuck in it.
Narcissists manipulate empaths by stringing them along with intermittent hope. This is called hoovering and can lead the empath left with crumbs of hope, feeding the empath that “maybe” they can fix the situation amd “maybe” it will be O.K? The narcissist will integrate compliments and kindness into their behaviour, making the empath believe that if they behave in the correct manner, they will get the loving person back who they once knew. That if they find the one reason to make the narcissist happy, then everything can return to how it was at the start of the relationship.This never happens.
The push and pull nature of this toxic relationship can generate a trauma bond between the empath and the narcissist, where it can feel almost impossible to leave the relationship, no matter how much damage it is doing, the empath will not want to quit. The empath can become inextricably bonded to the narcissist with children and finances and this continues the ensnaring of the empath. The empath will start to look at how they can change to appease the narcissist because they naturally want to make the situation better, completely forgetting any personal boundaries. It is the perfect set up for the narcissist.
The empath may not even see or acknowledge they are in a narcissitic relationship and many do not realise this until they are out. I know I had my confidence completely chipped away over many years and did not even know that my marriage had been to a narcissist. I was prepared to completely sacrifice my own happiness to try and keep “fixing” the relationship becasue I was tied financially and we had children together. The true power of the trauma bonding and dynamic between the empath and the narcissist.
An empath may spend a lot of time being emotionally abused, manipulated and disrespected by a narcissist. They may even spend a great deal of time trying to “fix” their partner, or come up with excuses as to why their partner does the things they do. None of this is healthy, especially for a sensitive empath. It is highly toxic and will totally destroy an empaths confidence ans self of worth.
Join me on Sunday 9th September on my Facebook Fan Page for my regular Sunday Night Divorce Recovery LIVE at 8pm, where I will be discussing the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist and how an empath can start to heal and deal with a narcissist with clear boundaries and what red flags to look for.
It can literally nearly break you having a relationship with a narcissist and as an empath you just want to make the world a rosy place filled with joy and love and being with a narcissist challenges every fibre of your body becasue the more you try, the more you are feeding the narcissist BUT you can heal and you can recover.
Come and join my FREE Private Divorce and Breakup Support Group For Women on Facebook where nearly 3,000 women lift, support and inspire each other and I offer free advice and motivation within the group to help women not just bounce back, but bounce forward and as one of the U.K.’s only accredited Divorce & Breakup Coaches, I know exactly what strategies work.
Divorce Became My Superpower and I absolutely know that Divorce Can Be Your Superpower too. As an empath, I see this as a gift now but I know whilst I was in my marriage and in the initial years after, it nearly broke me. I now have crystal clear boundaries and know my own value and worth and whilst I am a natiral empath and love helping others, hence being a Divorce Coach, I know exactly what red flags to look for and I teach my clients this so that you do not attract the same personality type again and you know exactly what to look for. I know this is a real fear for many that one relationship with a narcissist can nearly break you and that it is a real worry that this may happen again as empaths attract narcissists and narcissists target empaths. In the initial stages with a narcissist, it can seem like the dream relationship but knowing your own boundaries and red flags is integral to not see history repeating itself.
I would love to know if you think you are an empath and if you think you are in a relationship with a narcissist or divorcing one?
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