There is no denying that Adam from this years Love Island is a good looking man but does he become less good looking the more we get to know him? This is the first year that I have watched Love Island as would normally avoid such shows but in the spirit of my divorce and breakup coaching business and my fascination with psychology and human behaviour, I thought I had best see what all the fuss is about.
Adam Collard is a 22 year old personal trainer from Newcastle who describes himself as “tall”, “dark” and “in good shape”! Even the nature of this description is narcissitic in nature. Narcissism comes from the Greek myth about Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection. A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder has an extreme feeling of self importance which I think we can agree that Adam has, a sense of entitlement which again seems Adam has and a need to be admired which by nature of Adam parading around semi naked and having no qualms about the villa and the world seeing him like this, suggests he may not have any underlying body confidence issues!
When I first started watching Love Island, I wanted to watch with an open mind because lets face it, the reality of this is very false as who would really want to go on a show in front of thousands of people, sleep in beds with strangers and live in bikinis and little clothes other than if you want attention?
I am not saying they do not want to find love because I am sure many of them do BUT I am sure they are wanting fame and the potential to become a “celebrity” which seems to be the culture we have formed.. Adam is certainly exhibiting many traits of a person who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I can’t officially diagnose as I am only seeing what the editing crew want us to see but he certainly ticks a lot of the boxes. On his argument with Rosie, he totally lacked empathy and even to the extent that he was smirking as Rosie was trying to explain to him how she felt.
One of the factors that really struck me was that he did not listen to reasons WHY Rosie was upset but kept on pointing out that she was being upset and focusing on that. This is typical of a narcissist as they do not want to focus on the actual problem but your behaviour responding to the problem and this leaves the victim stressed and feeling unheard. This was highlighted by Adam when Rosie was upset. At no stage did Adam try and say he was sorry or that his behaviour was unacceptable in the way he had treated her and going after Zara. All he focused on was how Rosie reacted to it. But lets face it, the majority of women would have reacted the same! Narcissists behaving like this often leave their partners confused and questioning themselves!
I was really interested though to see that within a few days though, Adam approached Rosie to try and apologise and Rosie being a typical empath accepted. My view on this is that Adam realised that his facade was slipping and that the public watching at home, would probably think he was not a nice person behaving like that, and the narcissist always wants to be thought of well. Never do they want their mask to slip and Adam certainly highlighted this by approaching Rosie to apologise. However, I do not buy his apology as I think he would do the same again and behave in exactly the same manner.
I think he was apologising just in case his public persona was slipping. However, it will be very interesting to see how his realtionship with Zara develops. She is much stronger than Rosie as Rosie was an empath and narcissists target empaths to overpower and weaken. Throughout Adams’ relationship with Rosie, it was like he was never satisfied and you could see Rosie get more and more insecure and emotional as the days progressed as Adam was gaslighting her leaving her on edge and paranoid. Adam told Rosie she was “acting like a child” and again this was rather than address WHY she was potentially acting like a child.
My ex husband was a diagnosed narcissist and it very nearly broke me so I am pleased that Rosie has left the villa and can learn from her experiences. When you were watching Love Island, could you relate to how Adam was behaving? DId it make you think that your partner is treating you like this? Are you being blamed for issues in your relationship or feeling anxious all the time? When you try and address them, do you get shouted at for raising them rather than actually what you have raised in the first place?
Let us see how Adam now builds his realtionship with Zara. If you are going through relationship difficulties right now through a divorce or breakup, come and join my support group on Facebook where I share free tips and advice to help you recognise signs of a narcissist and how to keep moving forward using positive psychology. https://www.facebook.com/divorcebecamemysuperpower/
I also have a free download for anyone wanting 6 Steps To Dealing With A Narcissistic Ex as this can be challenging to say the least especially if you have children
Have a great week and I shall continue to be fascinated with how Love Island progresses!!
Love Caroline x